we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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