WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize