we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize