Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
The police scanner is talking about you again....
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
