he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
