even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize