I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
