I'll bet she douches with gravy.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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