Rock
Scissors
Fuck
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
