But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
