Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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