Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
