Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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