He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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