So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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