just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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