Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize