from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize