Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
