I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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