"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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