exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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