what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
