worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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