a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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