capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
