I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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