He kissed a someone with a penis
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
