Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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