College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
i think my cat just said my name.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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