well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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