If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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