how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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