Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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