wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
