i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
