SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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