What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
