Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
