:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
