Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
