she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
We had sex on a dog bed..
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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