I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
