Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
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