I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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