My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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