I faked an abortion last night.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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