drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
