Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
