Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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