Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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