Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
It's no shave November. This is our time.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
