I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
