What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Randomize
