I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
