You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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