Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
