You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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