So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
