Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
