I'm going to jail i love you
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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