Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
