Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
