one two three fourrrrnication!
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
