Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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